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Hello welcome. How r u I think you’re wondering why I asked you to join me. May I have a cup of coffee for you? Tea? Please, make yourself comfortable. Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. It’s awkward, so I’ll just say it. The truth of the matter is, the comments in your book are annoying.
Which one? Well, at least I didn’t go down without explaining myself first. There are many annoying book reviews, and you, dear reader, have published at least one of them. Of course, I can give examples, but first! Please understand that this is not complete (although it is tedious for me). There are countless other boring book reviews, and this is just a sample.
Let’s get started.
You refer to some books as “criminal pleasure”. Listen, if you feel guilty for something that makes you happy, it was better because it hurts someone else. And if that’s the case, it’s not boring, it’s disgusting and I want you to stop talking and stop doing it the most. Do you like Nazi romance? Yes, you should feel guilty. Get out. Do you prefer romance between two consensual adults who are not committing war crimes? Great! But why does that make you feel guilty? Miss Miss with Miss that nonsense.
And one more thing – calling romance “Tracy” (really the opinion of any book involving the word “Tracy”) is annoying. Of course, there is an exception to the above-mentioned Nazi apologetic romance, which rarely covers “rubbish”, but that’s not what I mean and you know it. I’m talking about romance, one of the most included and best-selling genres in the world, and one that focuses on pleasure. Sorry that you find joy trash. Go play with the guilty weirdos from the last paragraph.
You know what annoying and fake? Bad to say The Catcher in the Rye (or another favorite classic insert). Yes, I understand, Holden Calfield is a huiner. [yawn] Can we go now
“Audiobook does not count.” Do not count as exactly what? Their words are just like any other format! Did you know that audiobook narrators need to include every word, Even dialog tags Where it is very clear who is speaking? Every word. So miss me for “it’s different” or whatever. Also, when I have a migraine, or when I’m in transit and because of eye contact I can read them.
“Comics for kids.” All right, friend. I’m not sure where you were, but I have kids who read comics almost exclusively and have a lot of headlines that they don’t touch. Because comics are for everyone, and some comics are too much for adults. Comics are a format, not a genre, and there are all kinds of comics.
You think “real” books smell better. Okay, you know, you’re … enjoying the scent of mold, maybe. Good for you The smell of my ebook is nothing, or more precisely, my hand. And listen, I have hundreds of paper books. You know what They collect dust and contribute to my terrible allergies. I love them and I love their reading experience, but they are more real than any other format.
“You don’t give a dog ear to your pages / Don’t break the thorns of your book / Don’t make crafts with books / Whatever.” How about this? I promise that you will treat your books like the things you consider valuable (I will do this for any of your things), and in return you will close the hell and stop the morality of my treatment of me.
“You have to read the classics.” It is certainly inconsistent with thought Wright Catcher Annoying? Also, the “classic” rarely includes a writer of color, and only includes the rare among white women, so no. I will read another included canon and you can pick up your classics and chase them wherever the sun rises.